Blog 6
20 Years On & Ancestry DNA

Last year I turned 50 years old. It's been 20 years since I had seen Sarah for the last time. I often thought of her, and particularly my brothers. The guilt I felt over my mother not bonding with her youngest son still plagued me and I still thought of and prayed for him regularly. I did my best to move on and put them out of my mind and focus on the important things in my life, mainly my son, but thoughts and feelings would often come up, particularly when I was tired or stressed. Sarah's  face and her coldness have never left me.

Coming up to my 50th birthday, I was planning to go home to Adelaide a few days prior. As such, my son gave me his present before I left. When I opened it I was overwhelmed, and excited. He had given me an Ancestry DNA Kit. Wow. This was something I had talked about before but had never taken the plunge. Before leaving for Adelaide I followed the instructions in the kit, took the test and posted my DNA off. I then had an anxious 4-6 week wait. My main focus was on finding out my heritage. I was so excited. To not know where I came from for 50 years, and then to be handed the opportunity to find out was the best gift ever. I couldn't wait for the results!

4 weeks later the day finally arrived when I received the email that stated 'Your Results Are In', and I nervously logged into Ancestry.com.au. It was overwhelming as I wasn't sure where to look first. But then I saw what I had been waiting for for so long.....


ETHNICITY ESTIMATE:

39% Polynesia

34% Great Britain

14% Europe West

7% Ireland/Scotland/Wales

5% Finland/Northwest Russia

1% Caucasus

I was ecstatic! No words can express how amazing it felt for the first time in 50 years, to have some concrete information about where I was from. It certainly explained my colourings and was just the beginning of the jigsaw puzzle pieces slowly being put into place.

Whilst Polynesia is a very broad category and includes, Hawaii, Tonga, Samoa & New Zealand, I was aware that it was probable that I would be able to verify which specific culture I was from from my DNA Matches. This is where Ancrestry.com.au match your DNA to everyone else who has had their DNA tested with them. They then list every match on your Ancestry page and predict how you are related. Mine came up with 4,562 cousins!! Two of which were 1st cousins. Whilst it took me a while to digest this information, I could see that both of these 1st cousins were also Polynesian, and therefore related to me on my paternal side. I immediately sent them both a message via Ancestry to ask where they were from. I only heard back from one cousin at this time, but it gave me the answer I was looking for - New Zealand. 

I was Maori.


My Facebook Post that day:

"Something changed for me today.I never realised how wary I have been about continually being asked where I am from. I get this dreaded question at least 1-2 times a week…by strangers mostly ie the check-out chick in IGA, people picking up BSS items from my house or vice versa or the Startrack man. Most of the time people were reasonably respectful when I told them I was adopted and that I didn’t know where I was from.

But, sometimes more often than I would have hoped, I got those arrogant, rude & disrespectful people who began to tell me where they thought I was from and the reasons why. I don’t know about other adoptees who don’t look like ‘normal’ Aussies, but my adoption and heritage is deeply personal. It is something that I have thought deeply about and wondered all my life…..50 years is a long time. It brings with it a deep sense of shame for not knowing, shame for being different and not belonging and every time I was asked where I was from, it just reiterated to me that I didn’t belong anywhere in particular. 

As such, it was always difficult for me to have a flippant conversation with a total stranger about it, especially when they so arrogantly believed that they knew more about it than I did & sometimes even argued with me if I disagreed with them…really?! 

When I have considered it in the past, I have often thought about what cultures I resonated with based not only on my physical, but on my emotional, spiritual & creative traits. I have often wanted to ‘belong’ to a particular culture because I knew people from that culture who had a deep sense of who they were and where they came from, and they carried themselves with such pride and love for their family & culture. I so envied that.

But today I walked tall!! Today I know enough about my heritage to be able to carry some of that pride I have seen in others, to know where I am from and where my characteristics come from. And when I get asked that question again, I can tell them.

Today I feel like I belong".